Blurred Line

Kitsune-sama

What does it mean to be healthy? And what does it mean to be sick? For many, the differences may seem clear but for me, the line is as blurry as ever. I am perfectly fit, completely energetic and laugh twice as loud as anyone I’ve ever met. But “healthy”? I don’t feel healthy. Not since the day I came to this place. I feel sick to my stomach when I have to wake up every day to see the same pale ceilings and walk around the same compact space. Crowded more than an ant’s colonies, you bump into at least one human wherever you turn. Yet,at the same time, I feel emptier than the supervoid. I feel nauseous every time I think about having to repeat the same cycle of walking around, talking and laughing out loud with others. Always in the mission of desperately trying to distract myself from me. It works for a while but then when the laughter dies out, it echoes deep within the void. The void that never fills up and is,instead,getting bigger since the day I came here. The void that makes me feel sicker every passing day.

So I wonder if the line between “health” and “sickness” is really that clear or is it just a blurred up line that I am struggling to see?