“No”: So small, yet so big

Afrah Rashid

Courtesy: Dreamstime

Have you ever been trapped in a situation with no way out? Sometimes, the solution to that could be to just say no. However, I have learned that the hard way during the last year of my high school when I made the wrong kind of friends, and to be honest, have never been more thankful.

If I were to ever describe myself, I would say I am an introvert. I only had two friends whom I would take a bullet for and always stayed within my comfort zone. That included my room and a Chinese takeout place a few blocks away. On weekends, my friends and I would just stay up all night watching movies whereas other teenagers would stay up all night partying. It was not that we were not invited to the parties, we just preferred the warmth of our home to a dozen people dancing against each other.

However, this was not the case when we went to senior year. Both of my friends had decided to take extra classes to boost up their grades, which I was not interested in. And that left me all alone at the lunch table and also on weekends. I started to feel lonelier as days passed by and so, planned on spicing things up a bit. Therefore, the next time I got invited to a party, believe it or not, I actually decided to go! That night, although I was terrified, I put on my big girl pants and rang the doorbell. Soon I was approached by a group of friendly people who showed me around and introduced me to people I never thought of talking to. I actually ended up having a good time, but little did I know that they were just trouble, smiling at me and waiting for the right time to pounce.

The next day at school, I was normally walking over to sit with my old friends when suddenly a guy from the previous night stopped and invited me to sit with them instead. And me still firm on my plan to have fun this year, accepted his offer and left my old friends shocked. I was so intrigued by these new kinds of people that I always felt the need to not disappoint them. I literally did everything they asked me to, whether it was to host parties at my place or to accompany them in their silly pranks that they did to have fun, such as throwing eggs on a neighbor’s car and recording their reaction to it. And somehow I was always the one carrying out those pranks and they were the ones having a good laugh. It even came to a point that I was the one studying for the tests and they were the ones with the good grades, because of copying from me of course. Thus began my demise, when one day I finally got caught while showing them the answers to a test.

I still remember how chaotic that day was. I was being taken to the principal while the whole class looked at me with pity. The principal lectured me for what felt like hours and when my parents arrived, the time passed by even slower. I cannot even describe how heartbreaking it was to see the look of disappointment in my father’s eyes. Instantly, I started to regret everything I had done and just wished to go back in time. And as if suspending me for a week was not enough, I was also grounded and had to stay in my room the whole day. I was longing to talk to my old friends who would not even respond to my texts.

On the other hand, my new friends acted like I did not just go through the worst time of my life and that it was normal to get suspended from school. They even had the nerve to ask me to throw a party when my parents were away. But still, I did not say no and instead made up an excuse of my uncle being home. Now that I think about it, maybe I was just scared of losing everyone and the reputation I earned, which all of you know, is very important to survive in high school. It could also be that I forgot how to be alone and have fun on my own. 

Anyway, eventually everyone has enough. I had enough when once they asked me to steal the principal’s keys to his room so that we can take revenge on him for suspending me. But I stayed rooted to my decision, which was no. I told them that my life depended on this and that I could get expelled if I got caught this time. But they would not budge and somewhat started forcing me. So I began ignoring them and even blocked their numbers. When they finally saw this stubborn side of me that they did not like, they left me alone. I did not mind the loneliness that came with it, as it was better than the feeling of my heart leaping into my throat during the troublesome acts.
Falling into peer pressure is very common when we are trying to blend in with our friends. Although my intention was just to have some fun with my new friends, the pressure I felt to agree with everything they said ended up costing me my parents’ trust in me along with my good grades. All of this could have been avoided if I had just told them no when they asked me to show the answers to the test. Therefore, it is important to be in control of our own lives and say no at the right time to the wrong person, before things get out of hand.